Its moments away from 2012, and I could not resist myself from typing out whatever my distorted mind conjured up over the last week or so. Of late, not much has been going my way but there is renewed optimism on my part. 2012, surely, wont end worse.
It has been a mixed year. The first six months were perhaps, ordinary and there wasn’t anything much happening personally. The second half was an entirely different story. I have reached the heights of happiness and plummeted to the depths of despair, all in a space of weeks. If I probably get to live to a point of time when I’ll be resting on my armchair next to my ailing wife, 2011 won’t, by any circumstance, a year I’ll forget. Not one worth remembering though.
There have been the good moments though. And atop that list stands the GMAT result – without a trace of doubt, the brightest spot of 2011. The result was not outstanding; I genuinely believe I had more in me, but I am fairly satisfied with the end-product. And importantly, there is good enough reason to believe that the result is the seed for the MBA tree to finally bear fruit. If all goes well, I could find myself somewhere outside India this time next year. And the MBA thing might just be going fine. So, the GMAT is definitely the high-point this year.
Nothing good has happened personally apart from that success, except that Manchester United knocked Pool off their perch and kick-started the current season with the Shield triumph. Its all gone wrong from there, but optimism never dies for the Red Devil. Come May, we’ll lift our 20th. Hopefully.
The only other positive thing might possibly be that I am still alive after two bike accidents – the first one, a particularly dangerous one. I end 2011 fit and fine, hale and hearty. All thanks to the one above. And STUDDS.
But then, despite the positives, I won’t look back at 2011 and smile. I can’t. The odd happy moment has been sandwiched by a series of disappointments. She tops that list and that disappointment is one which will roll on for quite a while. Somehow, its magnitude has even overridden the GMAT success, perhaps because it feels like a part of me has been taken away. Maybe for a short period of time, this situation was anticipated, but it has not stopped me from looking at the entire episode with the eyes of someone woefully short of self-esteem and pride. Many of my dreams have fallen by the wayside and several others are waiting to fall, but almost certainly, she will remain the biggest loss of my life. That disappointment alone, is probably enough, to label 2011 a disaster. And sadly, worse is being forecasted even as type this out.
And if that is not enough, there are a number of really close people whose personal troubles have had me shed a tear or two. Not that I could be of any help, but that has not stopped me from worrying about them or offering a word of advice. Nothing’s helped and hardly anything is looking bright. And just as is the case with me, the worst is perhaps, yet to come.
All this means I can hardly welcome 2012 with a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye. There’s no end to hoping though. My only faith is in the second half of the year. It is highly possible that I get out of India and isolate myself from the folks back here. It might actually yield positive results on the MBA front, and at the moment, that’s the only good aspect I anticipate in the new year.
So, with twenty minutes to go before my clock reads 12, I’ll say goodbye. My 2011 resolutions have crashed disastrously, and there is not much to hope for the coming year. Despite that, there are a couple of resolutions, which I decide to keep to myself. And I sincerely hope those close friends around me have a bright, colorful new year awaiting them. At least, next year this time, I hope they’ll look back and sincerely think I’ve had one of the best years of my life.
But then, its only my prayer. And sadly, of late, most of them have crashed. So, no real expectations for 2012. Just taking it as it comes….
P.S. Happy New Year, wherever you are. Love you from my heart, all my readers….
